Hi everyone x
I caught up with this week's posts yesterday and today and had an overwhelming feeling that I needed to get this down.
I know it sometimes looks like we gush compliments and lovely things to each other all the time and that's all we do but its SO much more. And I know you all know this but sometimes someone has to say it out loud as it were.
I have never had anyone in my life that is so accepting and supportive as my blog friends. Let me clarify. I had a BFF for 19 years. We were fantastic friends and when she split from her husband she moved in with me for 6 months even sharing my bed (my DH worked nights at the time) We spent many hours talking the night away. I thought she was a kindred spirit.
Anyway my marriage ended but because of financial issues I still lived with my ex. I met Marcus and so building a new relationship was very difficult while still living with the ex. But we made it work.Then my mum started to be really funny with me and my grandmother stopped talking to me and I didn't know why.
When my grandmother died I found out that my BFF had been to my mums and told her loads of lies about me and Marcus which my mum had told my grandmother. My grandmother being very disapproving cut me out of her will and stopped talking to me.
So I lost the last few years with my grandmother because of a bunch of lies and all the while my BFF was still enjoying my company as if nothing had happened.
I felt so betrayed. I can honestly say nothing in my life has hurt me more than this and I have been divorced twice! I was destroyed and although I have friends now I have never been that close with anyone. Marcus is my best friend now and my soul mate. Corny but true.
Anyway I digress. The posts this week have talked about money problems, depression, relationship problems, etc etc all subjects that have some sort of social shame attached to them. Subjects that we usually keep to ourselves for fear of being judged. But you all share knowing that none of us will judge. We will offer support, a shoulder to cry on, advice and acceptance. How great is that?
I have been coy to share things in my life because I want to be liked and accepted but I don't feel that way anymore. Your comments of support this week have showed me that you would not judge.
I can't tell you how much that means to me. My DH is fantastic but even he does not understand the unique issues that the band unveils so your help and friendship is invaluable. I would do anything for my band buddies and I know you would too.
I am thankful every day that I found such a great bunch of friends and you amaze me all the time with your strength of character.
Thank you all for sharing your lives, loves and problems. Thank you for your honesty.
Much love x
5 days ago