Saturday 24 April 2010

mmmmm not sure

I'm not sure if I should share my thoughts for today because like some of you I really just want to be liked but I suppose the whole point of this thing is to be honest whatever the outcome.

I have been really grumpy with everyone lately and at first thought it was PMS but that came and went and I was still snappy. Then I got to thinking am I just turning into a snappy, grumpy person? Was I happy to accept the quiet life before because I could turn to food to calm my temper or silence my voice of protest? Does this mean that I will be thin and miserable?

Also I have followed lots of people through their journey's and when I see their thin pictures they dont look like they were ever overweight but I cannot imagine a thin me. I just cant picture it at all. Is that normal? I thought you were surposed to get more confident as the weight came off but I dont feel that way yet. I have only lost 32lb so maybe its a bit soon to tell?

I love reading everyone's blogs and that's the one thing that keeps me going but I am feeling a little out of the loop. I havent been doing this long but maybe as my daughter pointed out "its just that other people are more interesting than you". Honestly I dont think she was being mean just trying to help.

Anyway I hope that this is just another one of those weird emotional roller coasters that the lap band seems to have me on and that the ride will be over soon and I can get on a jolly merry go round because this sucks.

Everyone is doing so well and being so positive that I hate to whinge but there it is. I'm off to feel sorry for myself for a bit.
Love you all x

25 comments:

  1. Hi Fiona.

    Thanks for commenting on my blogs.. I am going shoe crazy.. glad Drazil let me know you are on board.. welcome.. and hope you can make it to CHICAGO.. we are going to have a blast

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  2. Sweetie - this is all part of the journey - the inner you isn't going to change totally...you're just having an off day. No worries. And yes - we want you to be honest. ONLY 32 lbs?? That's not only - that is GREAT. You should do one of those online thingys some bloggers do that show them as a virtual person at a certain weight so you could see you thinner. Maybe that would help you get a picture!

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  3. Hi Fiona...I do whatever Drazil tells me to do, so I'm here to welcome you :) Sending you lots of ~*~*SKINNY VIBES~*~*

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  4. I dunno how on earth I am more interesting than you...do you see that "favourite ride" picture?!?! You have got to be out of your ever loving mind! I would NOT be caught dead...or alive...on that thing...no way! I think you're brave. :) And 32 pounds is awesome! :) I think we all happen to get sucked into the what if stuff with this weight loss...because it is a reality that once its gone...it pretty dang likely to stay gone! It can stick us in a grumpy kinda mood...No worries...it'll pass...if not...we will kick its ass!

    xoxox,
    Nikki

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  5. Oh you didn't get the memo. We're allowed two whiney posts every week. After that we have to be upbeat and positive. You get to throw in a real tear jerker every once in a while just to let us know you are NORMAL. I find you interesting-well just look at the picture of you in the red wig! And that guy you're with could use some skin. LOL. You just need to keep on reading to see just how boring we really are.

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  6. Building your headband is harder work than the LB part, but it's what will make you successful with your weight forever. Keep opening up about the tough feelings and you'll work through it as you go. It doesn't stop, but it does get easier. I'm getting a lot better at recognizing my feelings or emotional triggers for food and being aware is just the first step. You'll find that more emotions will bubble to the surface as you get thinner if you let them come out...that doesn't mean that you'll end up being a sad, angry, fearful, bitchy woman...in fact, quite the opposite, because if you get to the root of the emotions (don't just feel the feeling, step back and keep observing yourself and asking why) then you will be learning to deal with them other ways than with food which, for most of us, meant stuffing them under the food. Take it this way...if you have some rough emotional days along the way, then that's a good sign that you're doing it right! Sorry for the babble, but I know where you're at! -BG

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  7. Thanks guys you all have an amazing ability to blow away the blues. I'm feeling sheepish now. Its so nice to get it off my chest though. Thanks for listening and for all your great advice xxx

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  8. You'll be fine...just stopped in to offer my support even though I won't be a bandster until Monday. I'll definitely be back once I have something more to offer.

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  9. Hey Fiona! Love your name! Found you through Drazil. These blogs are a huge support system! We will be here for you whenever you need it!! I feel boring too sometimes!

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  10. Hi Fiona! I found you through Drazil too. I don't always have something to write because I am not banded yet. I should have it in May. Until then, I like to read everyone's blog. Good luck to you and I hope you will make it to Chicago!

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  11. Hi Fiona! Drazil sent me too! I see you are 2 days ahead of me being banded. I am one month today! I look forward to following your journey and hope you visit my blog also!

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  12. Hi Fiona...Drazil sent me. I think it is totally normal to feel grumpy at times in our lives expecially as a mother and wife. You will lose the weight and we will support you and I just want to hear about your journey through your normal life!!!

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  13. Hi, Fiona! I found your blog through Drazil. I look forward to reading more!!

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  14. "only" 32 pounds?! That's awesome!!!

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  15. Greetings Fiona! No problem with the whiney attitude! Love it actually because it makes you more human! No one is immune to bad days that's for sure! Look forward to reading more about you!

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  16. Hi Fiona,

    I haven't followed any recent banders, so I will follow you and learn what it's like.

    It's OK to be whiney. We all have bad days.

    Catch you later, on a good one, OK?

    Because I'm a techno-zero, my little postage stamp "picture" is one of those creepy shadow figures, and, also because I'm a techo-zero, my name shows up as "cookies4spartans". Just wanted to warn you.

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  17. Hi Fiona - have you seen my recent whiny vlog post? I feel like fool for putting it up there, but yet, so much support... and if we can't be honest on our blogs, where can we be? Because they are us - and that way, we're being honest with ourselves if that makes sense!!! Great job so far - keep up the good work... and most of us are pretty regular, usually boring (okay - speaking for myself) kinds of folks - so join right in!!!

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  18. Hey Fiona! You asked if the Chicago trip was by invitation only. And NO, it's def not. Everyone is welcome and we all hope you can come! :)

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  19. Fiona - look at you with all your new followers. The lap band girls around here are AWESOME I tell you. YOu'll never find a more supportive bunch. And yes - come to Chicago!

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  20. Hi Fiona...I do whatever Drazil tells me to do too!! So I jumped on over to say hi! I am now Following you and will read you blog from the beginning.

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  21. Wanted to say hello, i'm in the UK too (I live in Essex, don't you too?)
    I was banded on the 25th of March, just after you I think.

    Your weight loss is great, much better than mine, I love the American blogs but its so nice to read about someone in the UK.

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  22. Hi Fiona,

    I found you by way of Drazil. You've done really well in a short amount of time. Keep up the great work. Looking forward to following your progress!

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  23. Hey Fiona, I too found you by way of Drazil! 32 lbs is great in a month! I'm 40 lbs down and it's been 3 months. As BG Said the headband is much much harder than the LB!!! Whining is NOT a problem in Bandlandia. We all do it, but we are all here to help and support each other too!!!

    P.S. I'd appreciate the following back if you so desire!

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  24. First off, your daughter is WRONG! Sorry, just has to be said, so I'm saying it. (I didn't read other comments, but I bet there are plenty that agree.) Also, I was whining all along (and still do at times - check out my post from today). It's normal. This is a lot of change for you. I have a HORRIBLE time seeing myself as I am today let alone along the way. I think there are other ladies in the same boat. Sometimes I get my clothes out of the dryer and think - man, these are small pants, are these really mine? Two things that have helped: (1) Pictures. Something about seeing pictures of yourself "breaks" this dysmorphia and (2) look at your clothes. Be sure to keep a pair of your pants from the start of your journey. As you get smaller and smaller, it helps to hold them up to the former pants. Hang in there and keep up the good work!

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  25. Hi, I'm another UK bandster - have you checked out http://www.wlsinfo.org.uk/ there are a lot of bandsters there - compared to the blogging world where most of the people I know are American.

    Welcome to the bandster world, and best of luck on your journey
    Hx

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