BYOC better late than ever!

1. If you could live anywhere in the world - where would it be and why?

* Florida. No question! I love it. I love the people, the weather, the pace of life, the diversity. I just love it. Now to find a way to fund this dream ........

2. How old were you when you got drunk for the 1st time?

* I am a little ashamed to say I was 13. I drank Babycham a sort of very sweet sparking wine and boy was I sick!

3. What was your favorite toy growing up?

* We were poor too and I can't really remember any particular toy of note. I do remember that I wasn't allowed to have a Barbie (not sure why) anyway as a result my first daughter had over 150. I used to sit and brush their hair and dress them up while she was at school then she would come home and change all the clothes and mix everything up which used to drive me crazy.

4. What's your favorite season and why?

* I absolutely HATE winter not so much for the cold but for the dark mornings and dark evenings. I really believe I suffer from S.A.D and this year I am going to get a UVA light to try to combat the effects. But that said although I LOVE summer for the obvious sunshine my favorite month is September because: We get beautiful clear skies, fresh mornings, dramatic clouds and if we get a really nice warm day it feels like a parting gift before the Autumn really sets in. Also whenever I have been to Florida its been in October so September is my get excited month where I look up at planes in the sky and think "that will be me soon sigh"


5. Repeat question....which blog or comment spoke to you or stuck with you the most this week?

* Anything Grace has said. She has really been in my thoughts this week.

Tribute to Blog Land

Hi everyone x
I caught up with this week's posts yesterday and today and had an overwhelming feeling that I needed to get this down.

I know it sometimes looks like we gush compliments and lovely things to each other all the time and that's all we do but its SO much more. And I know you all know this but sometimes someone has to say it out loud as it were.

I have never had anyone in my life that is so accepting and supportive as my blog friends. Let me clarify. I had a BFF for 19 years. We were fantastic friends and when she split from her husband she moved in with me for 6 months even sharing my bed (my DH worked nights at the time) We spent many hours talking the night away. I thought she was a kindred spirit.

Anyway my marriage ended but because of financial issues I still lived with my ex. I met Marcus and so building a new relationship was very difficult while still living with the ex. But we made it work.Then my mum started to be really funny with me and my grandmother stopped talking to me and I didn't know why.

When my grandmother died I found out that my BFF had been to my mums and told her loads of lies about me and Marcus which my mum had told my grandmother. My grandmother being very disapproving cut me out of her will and stopped talking to me.
So I lost the last few years with my grandmother because of a bunch of lies and all the while my BFF was still enjoying my company as if nothing had happened.
I felt so betrayed. I can honestly say nothing in my life has hurt me more than this and I have been divorced twice! I was destroyed and although I have friends now I have never been that close with anyone. Marcus is my best friend now and my soul mate. Corny but true.

Anyway I digress. The posts this week have talked about money problems, depression, relationship problems, etc etc all subjects that have some sort of social shame attached to them. Subjects that we usually keep to ourselves for fear of being judged. But you all share knowing that none of us will judge. We will offer support, a shoulder to cry on, advice and acceptance. How great is that?

I have been coy to share things in my life because I want to be liked and accepted but I don't feel that way anymore. Your comments of support this week have showed me that you would not judge.

I can't tell you how much that means to me. My DH is fantastic but even he does not understand the unique issues that the band unveils so your help and friendship is invaluable. I would do anything for my band buddies and I know you would too.

I am thankful every day that I found such a great bunch of friends and you amaze me all the time with your strength of character.
Thank you all for sharing your lives, loves and problems. Thank you for your honesty.
Much love x

BYOC

5 questions - funny and serious - to get to know each other better! Join in if you dare!

1. If you had 3 wishes what would they be and why? (you can't wish for more wishes or money!)(Thanks Steph)

* I'm totally with Draz on this one. Cure everything, it's always unfair.
Health and happiness to my children and all my family and friends.
And no drugs or alcohol. Wow wouldn't the world be a better place?

2. If you had all the money in the world and perfect circumstances - how many children would you have and what sex?

wow Draz me too!

*I currently have two girls. In a perfect world - I'd have one more - and it'd be a boy. I would also love twins.

3. Have you ever faked it? (Because I need to laugh...feel free to skip this one if it's too personal.)

*No, even if it takes a while to get "there" we get there in the end. Practice makes perfect.

4. What movie character do you think you look like?

Jabba the hut?

5. Repeat question. Which blog or comment spoke to you or stuck with you this week and why?

I really liked http://embracinganewpath.blogspot.com/ vlog.
I'm still catching up on this weeks news from blogland (sorry)

my boring life, read on at your peril, you have been warned!

I wasn't going to blog this week as its been a nothing sort of week but hey ho here I am. It will be pretty random boring stuff (I'm not sorry though, you don't HAVE to read it)

I have been eating in a very un organised way this week but still sticking to approx 1000 cals. My custom report of calories on Tap & Track is 918 per day over a two week period. I have also continued to exercise, adding swimming to the regime.
Have I lost any weight I hear you ask?????
NO nothing for the last 3 weeks! Stop asking.
Is this driving me nuts? Yes.
Am I going to give up? No.
I am going to speak to the Dr's office on Monday and see if I can get in to see the nutritionist. I need help. Oh and the 918 cals does not take into account that I throw up almost everyday! Does food count if it's only been in there for 2 minutes?

Work is very boring and we are coming to the end of the production this week. All our machines are being shipped to China next week. It's very disheartening when you have to facilitate the move of your own job abroad. So by Wednesday I was bored with work and chucked a sickie. I spent the day cleaning the apartment and had a great time. How sad it that? My Dr did tell me some women go cleaning crazy once the weight starts to come off. Good job my crazy only lasted a day ;-)

On the job hunting front I found out this week that the guy who sits at the next desk who I supervise is applying for all the same jobs as me. I hate job hunting!
And I have just been visted by a lady from the Home Learning College who was EXCELLANT at her job and got me to sign up for a course on Pay Roll which costs £1170

Oh dear. Talk about hard sell. I think she played on my fear of being out of work and over 40 (she didnt promise to make me younger) But for that money I expect her to.

Oh and the car broke down this week and needed a new clutch which cost £550. And I wonder why I cant afford to go to Chicago.

Just reading this post I seem to be on a bit of a downer but I am not. The sun is shinning and I LOVE summer. So it will take more than a few set backs to get me down.

I was reading someones blog and Jess commented about Jackfit. So I started to follow his blog. It's so funny, well worth a read.

And I have just spent the afternoon catching up with you all. So that was time well spent. I love reading your blogs but I freaking love vlogs! Its like I get to meet you in person. One day I will get my daughter to show me how to do one but I have to grow a pair first and think of something to say.

I will load some pics later too.
Last week Drazil asked one of my questions on BYOC and I felt slightly famous for five minutes so thanks Draz for asking and thanks ladies for answering.
Much love.

BYOC!

1. If you could be a cartoon character – who would you be and why?

I would be Tinkerbell! I absolutely love anything Disney and when I was a kid we used to watch The Wonderful World of Disney at Easter and Tinkerbell flys around the castle and waves her wand and I love that. Plus she can fly, she is cheeky & funny and so cute. Whats not to love. Only downside is that she doesn't get her man but I'm sure I could change that.
And when its my TOM I would be Cruella Deville ha!

2. Who was your teenage heart throb? (Thanks Fiona for this one)

Thanks Draz for asking this one for me x

My teenage heart throb was Donny Osmond (well I was a bit younger than a teenager maybe 10 or 11) and I used to dream that I was in a car crash and ended up in a coma so they played his music to try to wake me up. Then he came to visit me and instantly fell in love with me. I woke up and we went to live in Utah. ha ha ha makes me laugh so much now.

3. Do you believe being overweight is about a mental obstacle or do you believe it’s simply about overeating/food?

Its both and much more. If it was just food then diets would work. For me the mental obstacle is harder to overcome than the taste. I also think our way of life has a lot to play in being overweight. Take a typical McDonalds "meal". It is a days healthy calorie intake in one meal. If you include a milkshake or dessert you would be well over. What does that teach us about portion because lets face it its not a massive amount of food just very high in calories.
You have to take all this in to account to successfully manage your weight. I will let you know when I get it right.

4. What’s your all-time favorite song?

Mine changes all the time because lots of songs have different memories. I love "the time of my life" from Dirty Dancing because I heard it a lot the first time I went to Florida and I did have the time of my life. I also love "time to say goodbye" by Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman and "fix you" by Cold Play always makes me cry.

5. Whose blog or comment spoke to you/stuck with you this week and why? This is our “you get to be famous for a moment” without having to follow all the rules of an official blog award question.


Jacquie’s blog was such a shock and so so sad. My heart goes out to her and her family. It made me hug my family just that bit tighter. And the comments I received about job hunting this week were so helpful and useful that I have to give them a mention. Special thanks to Genie x

The big five O

Who would have thought I would welcome the big five O?
Well it's easy to do when the five O is followers.

Thank you all so much for following my blog and leaving your encouraging comments. I hope some of my ramblings have helped in some small way because I have gained so much from reading all yours.

Today I want to talk about wind and fear.

Wind.
Since getting the band things of a digestive nature have change somewhat. The main change is burping. This may be a TMI situation but when I burp I swallow a gulp of air then that brings up the burp. Now this may be how everyone burps I don't know. Anyway now I feel a burp, swallow the gulp of air and then that gets stuck!!! This continues until I give up for fear of exploding and deal with the uncomfortable wind. Then days later I will move in a certain position (never can remember what position it is) and a burp will come up but this is no ordinary burp. Its the longest burp in the history of flatulence. Seriously I could say the alphabet twice!

And then there is the other end. If the above has continued without some sort of release the wind makes a break for another escape route. And now i am like an old lady in the supermarket that walks and pops off at the same time with no shame. I am just glad the wind is gone, I don't care who hears me.
Whats with that?????
Please let me know how you have dealt with this and if there are any secret remedies to release the wind in a company friendly way.

Now on to fear.
I am in the process of job hunting. I am petrified. I have no confidence in my own abilities and I'm not looking for a confidence boosting compliment here, they don't work for me.
So I get a call today about my CV. Someone is interested. This call is only from a recruiting agency not the employer but I go into panic mode. Hello, here comes the IBS and the sweats. I thought I had said goodbye to them. But wait this is not an interview, not even a telephone interview. What am I going to be like IF I ever get a real interview. I was thinking of maybe going to see a hypnotist to calm my nerves. I really have to do something. I can honestly say I have never been so worried or scared in my life but the weather is lovely here in denial. That's where I am staying until its all gone away.

Today is the second training day for my C25K so I will blog tomorrow re the pain and suffering.

Much love x

Now comes the pain.

So now comes the pain. I ran for 8 mins tops yesterday and I cant walk today! And going down stairs is torture. I cant imagine being able to run again tomorrow. I had the bright idea of going for a swim tonight but both our local pools were closed to the public for swimming lessons so I had to give it a miss.

I really need to plan this better so I can do something gentle to recover in between runs or else I am never going to make it.

On other news I sat here tonight and decided I would have some pineapple. It cant be that bad its fruit right? Wrong! First mistake was to cut the whole pineapple and have it in front of me. Even though it was a small one I ate the whole thing. Seriously I cant believe I managed to eat it all. How does that work, at lunchtime I cant finish a bowl of soup. Anyway I ate the damn pineapple THEN checked the calories. It was 453 cals. OMG that puts me well over for today and no exercise either. Panic.

But "deep breath" lesson learned. Never sit with more than you should eat in front of you and always check calories BEFORE you eat them.
I will have to do better tomorrow.

Thanks guys so much for the encouraging messages re the run.
Much love x