I caught up with this week's posts yesterday and today and had an overwhelming feeling that I needed to get this down.
I know it sometimes looks like we gush compliments and lovely things to each other all the time and that's all we do but its SO much more. And I know you all know this but sometimes someone has to say it out loud as it were.
I have never had anyone in my life that is so accepting and supportive as my blog friends. Let me clarify. I had a BFF for 19 years. We were fantastic friends and when she split from her husband she moved in with me for 6 months even sharing my bed (my DH worked nights at the time) We spent many hours talking the night away. I thought she was a kindred spirit.
Anyway my marriage ended but because of financial issues I still lived with my ex. I met Marcus and so building a new relationship was very difficult while still living with the ex. But we made it work.Then my mum started to be really funny with me and my grandmother stopped talking to me and I didn't know why.
When my grandmother died I found out that my BFF had been to my mums and told her loads of lies about me and Marcus which my mum had told my grandmother. My grandmother being very disapproving cut me out of her will and stopped talking to me.
So I lost the last few years with my grandmother because of a bunch of lies and all the while my BFF was still enjoying my company as if nothing had happened.
I felt so betrayed. I can honestly say nothing in my life has hurt me more than this and I have been divorced twice! I was destroyed and although I have friends now I have never been that close with anyone. Marcus is my best friend now and my soul mate. Corny but true.
Anyway I digress. The posts this week have talked about money problems, depression, relationship problems, etc etc all subjects that have some sort of social shame attached to them. Subjects that we usually keep to ourselves for fear of being judged. But you all share knowing that none of us will judge. We will offer support, a shoulder to cry on, advice and acceptance. How great is that?
I have been coy to share things in my life because I want to be liked and accepted but I don't feel that way anymore. Your comments of support this week have showed me that you would not judge.
I can't tell you how much that means to me. My DH is fantastic but even he does not understand the unique issues that the band unveils so your help and friendship is invaluable. I would do anything for my band buddies and I know you would too.
I am thankful every day that I found such a great bunch of friends and you amaze me all the time with your strength of character.
Thank you all for sharing your lives, loves and problems. Thank you for your honesty.
Much love x
Thats a really nice post Fiona, your ex friend was a bitch! Did you ever confront her? I believe in karma, she'll get hers!
ReplyDeleteSeriously I think I would have beat her ass. That was a horrible thing to do to someone, I'm sure like Alison said karma will get her in the end. I love your post and I couldn't agree more!!
ReplyDeleteWhy do women betray each other so horribly? I'm with Jenny. I would have had a hard time not slugging her. Great post!
ReplyDeleteYou totally hit the nail on the head. At first when I started blogging, I didn't think anyone would read what i had to say, much less thing I was interesting. As I made friends, and I do include everyone I've met on this journey on that list, I realized I could be 100% open, unashamed of who i was, who I had become as an overweight person and know that I wasn't going to be judged, which is a real rarity in the online world, where people tend to hide behind their computers enjoying the anonymous nature of things. I'm sorry your former friend did that...it sucks really bad and she will get what is due to her, threefold. Thanks so much for writing your beautiful post!
ReplyDeleteGreat post Fiona. What a horrible betrayal to experience from someone you considered to be a true friend. I agree with the other comments that karma will your friend her due.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, I'm sorry about the B*$ch, that sucks.
ReplyDeleteAgree 100%! And poo to that old friend of yours -- that is really awful.
ReplyDeleteAwwww - that friend of yours was NO friend at all. And I am sorry for your pain but I feel sorry for her too - karma will kick her in the ass some day and she'll regret more than you ever will. Love you!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you had the courage to be more open with your friends out here in the blogosphere. Feels great to get stuff off your chest, huh?
ReplyDeleteYou are so right about having great friends in blog land. I do believe in Karma. What goes around comes around in one way or another. It makes you wonder what you friend had to gain out of all that. Hang in there. We love you!
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing that hurts you more than betrayal! I have gone through and I know how you feel, I am so sorry!
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ReplyDeleteFiFi...I can't believe how catty women can be... She must have been jealous of you and wanted to take away what you had... You are a true survivor and your strength and power to bounce back after 2 breakups and even have the courage to start a new relationship is amazing... It's no wonder she was jealous. I am so sorry you had to go thru such an awful betrayal but I wish you Mom and Grandmom had believe you and not her. It's always easier to believe the bad things, i guess. You are an inspiration to us all... and I am happy that the 3rd time was the charm with Marcus. Thank you for your friendship... You were my first follower and I am lucky to have you as my friend! BTW, we were banded a day apart...
ReplyDeleteFirstly thank you all so much for your lovely comments they are VERY gratefully accepted.
ReplyDeleteSecondly update on above. I realise I didnt give the full story. She apologised and asked could we still be friends so I went to see her for our usual bottle of wine. I really didnt want to believe our friendship was over. Being a big girl I was used to taking the crap and keeping the peace but it just didnt work. I could not tell her anything about my life or share any of my feelings. The trust had gone. We havent spoken for 11 years, still makes me feel sad.
Awesome post Fiona,,,speaks for all of us as to how we feel about this amazing community/sisterhood.
ReplyDeleteSorry you had to suffer such a betrayal from someone to whom you shared your home and your heart.
That is so true Fiona...well said. I am so sorry you lost those years with your mum and grandma...to putit frankly...women can be such bitches sometimes!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat a horrible betrayal! I can't imagine how that would feel. I wish you piece in this matter.
ReplyDeleteWe're all here striving for the same goal: health! Whether we're doing low carb, weight watchers, have a band, etc, whatever our method, we all want the same thing. I love the blogging community because you can find like-minded people to encourage and to encourage you!
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