why do I sabotage myself???????????????

Hi

It is now five weeks until my appointment with the doctor and my first appointment with the surgeon. At my last doctors appointment he told me I needed to lose 10 kgs before I saw the surgeon and I haven't lost anything. In fact I have gained 2 ks!

Why can't I help myself? I am so angry with myself. Now I have to crash diet to try and get some weight off before the end of August. I feel awful. All my joints are aching and my feet have started to swell up every evening.

Anyway I am joining the gym today and I have loaded a calorie checker into my itouch so I have all the tools I just need to remember how much I want this and do my best to lose enough weight in the next 5 weeks to convince the surgeon to band me.

I am so scared they will say no. But I am also scared I will get banded and fail. Maybe I just need to stop thinking about it too much and get on with my life?

Hopefully my next blog will be a bit more positive, sorry.

Right, off to the gym

To Band or not to Band. That is the question.

Hi, this is my first ever blog anywhere so please forgive me if I'm doing it wrong.

I have been logging on to Lap Band Talk for the last year or so and at the same time going the process of being referred by my doctor to a consultant at the hospital for weight loss surgery.

It has taken 18 months to finally get an appointment with a surgeon. I am due to go at the end of August. He will decide if I am a good candidate for surgery and what type of surgery will be best for me.

This is also a question I will have to answer for myself.

1. LAP-BAND®
2. Bypass
3. Balloon

After reading all the stories on this website the band seems the most successful whilst being the least intrusive. But I am really scared that I will fail so I am seriously considering the stomach bypass. I am so scared that they will refuse me altogether and I am also scared of how much this will change my life.

My doctor tells me that 3 major studies have shown that the suicide rate is much higher once you have had weight loss surgery. But everyone on Lap Band Talk seems so happy.

I also have to lose at least 10kgs before the appointment to show that I am willing to help myself and although I really want the op I am struggling to stick to a diet. Maybe that shows I am not really committed? I am so confused.

My partner is extremely worried about the surgery but will totally support my decision. I am just fed up with being fat and using food for everything but nutrition.

How does that change once you are banded?? Anyway I would love to hear from people going through the same process. How did you decide on the band???

I think for now that's my biggest question. All help gratefully accepted.