Hello it's me!

I can't believe that I haven't blogged since the beginning of August!!!!!
I have been so busy and not had access to the laptop so it seems like ages since I was here. I am sorry to all my followers that I have left it so long. I know when I follow someone that rarely updates its disappointing to check in time after time and see nothing new so a BIG thank you for sticking with me.

So I finally left work. My last day was a little odd. I was glad to see the back of some people but still a little emotional about leaving the company. After all I have seen most of the people everyday for 10 years. My marriages didn't last that long! I sent an email to my customers and suppliers saying goodbye and got some very touching replies. I was really surprised at all the lovely comments and good wishes. I think that is what has made me the saddest, the fact that the relationships that took 10 years to build are now over in a flash.

Also I have now realised how much of my self worth is based on my job. There are parts of my life that I know are not shinning examples to anyone and could use vast improvement. There are also things which although you shouldn't be measured by, you invariably are. Such as owning your own home, that I have balanced with the fact that I had a good job. And now I don't have that job I feel quite lost.

I have taken 2 weeks off from the above as we usually have the boys for the first two weeks in August. We have been to theme parks, the zoo, the parks, shopping malls and they also ran a 5k while they were here. We are thoroughly exhausted! We drove them home on Saturday leaving at 6:30am and returning home at 5:30pm. Eleven hours in the car is not fun.

I have eaten nothing but junk for the last two weeks. Not massive amounts but junk none the less. So the weight loss is not going well. In fact it's not going at all. But that is just down to me not using the band and not planning properly. Being out every day for the last two weeks hasn't helped. Also I seem to have got to a point where I am quite comfortable and the initial incentive to get the weight off hasn't been as strong.

Any who on a plus side I am in a unique position. I am now in a place where I have to meet all new people. So I can turn back time and reverse decisions that I have previously regretted. I will explain. I have regretted telling everyone about the band because it made me feel uncomfortable and it was all anyone would talk to me about. So now when I get a new job I will have the chance to keep it to myself. Also all the new people will not be impressed with my 48lb weight loss (making me lazy about losing more) as they won't have known me heavier.

Example, I recently joined Zumba and the lady asked if I wanted to lose weight. Why yes I do. So now I have to make an effort to lose some weight because she does not know I already have.

I am due to have my second fill on September the 3rd. Yes it's only my second fill. I can't wait to get it as I really need some help right now. But they told me I have to lose 8lb by the time I get the fill. Yikes I think I have gained some weight since I was weighed at the hospital. So I sucked it up and joined Weight Watchers!!!!!!!
Again, they do not know that I have a band. They do not know I have lost 48lb and I'm not telling them. I need the incentive that they think I am only just starting out. I need the encouragement.

I feel really positive about the whole situation. How many people get a second chance so early on in the game. I get a restart.
It is going to be difficult not having a routine, not having structure in my day. Being around food all day will be hard. But I need to take this opportunity and use the time wisely. God knows I haven't used the money wisely. (that's a whole other story)

My weigh in day is Wednesday. I don't have much hope for this week as the boys didn't go home until Saturday but I will be happy if I lose one pound. And I have Zumba tonight and plenty of time to go to the gym. I also got my new bike which I will be riding to Zumba. Check me out.

So a few weeks ago I promised Draz I would do something positive. I think joining Weight Watchers and getting my bike is a good start. I am also trying to increase the fluid intake to 2 litres a day. And taking a leaf out of Draz's book by preparing as many of my meals in one go so they are ready when I am feeling weak. I even made enough soup for the week.

Onwards and upwards friends. I will catch up on all your news this week. No 1 daughter is away on holiday for a week so I am using her MAC. Who knows I may even post a VLOG by the end of the week lol.