600cals a day and gaining weight !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last Sunday DH ran the London Marathon in 4 hours and 58mins. I could not have been more proud. Although he is not overweight and stays relatively fit this was a huge accomplishment for him. He is very like me and we are the sort of people who have great ideas and big dreams but VERY rarely follow things through. We never finish anything. When he said he wanted to do it I had my doubts but supported him. He didnt start his training until the beginning of March (again we tend to put things off) and that made me think he would never do it although I never said as much. But hats off to him he did it. Not only was it fantastic for him but it also made me feel this was the beginning of a change in both of us. I do feel that we are turning into the type of people that work hard and find success instead of being the people that work hard at lots of different things but never get anywhere.
So big thumbs up for Marcus xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I have been sticking to liquid this week after my fill last Friday and it hasn't been too much of a struggle. I haven't felt hungry although my stomach has been growling like a bear with toothache. The shakes have kept me full but here's the sting, I was 239lb on Monday and I weighed myself everyday as usual and the scales just kept going up and up!
Yesterday I was 243.5!!!!! I am only having 600cals a day. Whats that about?

Anyway I have been trying really hard not to be too disheartened. Maybe once I can eat food things will improve. I had some mashed potato on Thursday which went down ok but when I tried scrambled egg last night I could only manage two spoons full and it hurt. A 50g smooth yogurt takes ages to go down and even that leaves me feeling full to my throat.
Dont get me wrong I am glad the fill is working but I am hoping I can eat SOME food in the future. I have now switched my shakes from the slim fast kind which are full of sugar to protein shakes. Hopefully this will help with the weight loss.

I am still excited that the fill is working but I really need the scales to show some results.

I notice that lots of you have named the band. This started me thinking about what I should call mine. Before the band I always felt like there were two voices in my head. The good one that I always started the day with, who would say stuff like "ok today we will plan our meals and be good and by next week we will have lost weight" and the bad one who would say "you have had a hard day and you deserve to eat exactly what you want, go on treat yourself". The bad voice usually won and the good voice felt throughly bullied.

Now I have the band I think of them as Big Belly and little Belly. (I know belly is not a nice word, I realised that as soon as I wrote it down but thats what I call them.) Anyway, little belly is in charge as it now has a firm grip on the "throat" of big belly. So when I am feeling full (little belly) but my stomach is growling thats just big belly complaining that nothing is getting through.

Do you remember when I told you I had a vivid imagination ha ha .

Anyway the other day DH and I were driving home from work and he stopped to get a sausage roll (large pig in blanket). It smelled devine. My mouth was watering but I wasnt hungry and little belly was still full from lunch. DH was struggling to drive and hold the sausage roll so I asked him if he wanted me to hold it for him. (little belly knew that would be ok)
He laughed and said to me "No thanks I think that is big belly talking!".

So I dont think I will name the band yet. Big belly and little belly might come up with a name of their own.

Also, sorry to ramble, I have noticed that I have been much more assertive and willing to give my opinion now that I cannot silence my feelings with food. I am using this in a positive way. And finally telling people what I think rather than what I think they want to hear. Anyone else noticed that change??